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<-- my life, by webgoddesscathy --> :: Tuesday, February 02, 2010 :: Sure. I work on a computer all day. I could be said to do "geek work" by some. But that's really only if one doesn't know what I do. Yes, I do some HTML. I find and resize relevant Creative Commons graphics. I even create social media accounts and utilize their widgets in my own professional sites. I test features and submit bug reports and teach other people how to do the same. And to blog and use a content management system. I figure out how to make point-and-click softwares work together. But mostly I work on online strategy, which is basically communications that just happens to be online. Different, sure. But communications all the same. I'm not a coder. I know enough design to be a nuisance to a real designer. I dabble in information architecture. I edit blogs. I manage a team. But I'm not a coder. I'm also not a network gal. So, really, in the grand scheme of geeks, I'm not all that geeky (much as I wish I were, I would be insulting the truly amazing geeky people I know if I put myself in the same category). I get annoyed when I think about changing systems that I've set up that are working but I can't remember exactly why. So when Blogger emails me that that they're moving away from how I do things on my own blog (because only .5% of people do it this way -- although I'll bet you it's the really smart, hard-core bloggers who do - ha!)... well, I had a moment of panic. I started reading their documentation about what I was going to have to do. And it all seemed so easy until the dreaded "unless" came up. And wouldn't you know it -- my situation is the one detailed under the oh-so-unlikely "unless" caveat. What does that mean? It means that I'm going to have to work harder than all the other .5% to move my blog to something that works for me and for you, the people who read this blog. And I've been reading for the past two hours to ensure I know what I need to know to sort out what I need to do. It all has to do with my custom domain, webgoddesscathy.com. And that I've been using webgoddesscathy.com/blog as my blog address. And that my host provider doesn't make it easy for me to switch to blog.webgoddesscathy.com. I know, riveting stuff. My first instinct was to move on to something easier. Like buying an iron with my Aeroplan points. But I decided NOT to have ADD tonight. I decided to focus on ONE thing and see it through to the end. And, let me tell you, it made me feel pretty geeky again. All that DNS and subdomain talk - it's hot. But what it did not get me was to the end of the task. Nope, because in the end, I had to put in a support ticket to see if there was anything I could do. And once I get THAT answer back, I have to make the next decision: switch to a new blogging service or just piss off all the two people who read my blog: my mom (HI!) and her friend Marlene (Hi Mar - I know you're gonna be so excited that I mentioned your name!). OK, and Raye, Steph and maybe Kat. I know from my stats there are others, but you don't really post comments so I can't name you. (Apparently David still reads me from time to time - yay! - so hi to you, too!) So it's all to say that: a) I like geeking out and wish I had more time so I didn't feel so stupid when I did get down to it b) I wish blogger had chosen a better time to change their service c) It's probably a good thing they're doing this as it may force me to redesign and goddess knows how much that is needed. (For goddessakes, it wasn't even on my New Year's resolution list!) d) Now you know what I do... mostly. :: Cathy 9:34 PM [+] :: 0 comments :: Sunday, January 31, 2010 :: Sometimes I want to be alone. It feels almost as if I'm sick. The tug in my stomach is insistent, but not always specific. I don't always know it's time. But I always know there's something wrong. It's a wonder with all the amazing people I know and how much I truly do value their presence that I could possibly feel that sometimes it would just be better to be unknown. Because it's not just alone that I want. Or silence. It's being around those I don't know. Being anonymous. Wandering. With no expectations. Allowed to be selfish. Or not. But as I choose. I do need to have more time for myself and my thoughts. For nothingness. For lack of things to do. Without guilt. :: Cathy 9:43 PM [+] :: 0 comments :: Tuesday, January 26, 2010 :: I do my best thinking when I'm walking by myself at night. And tonight I was thinking a lot. I was thinking that I've been all stressed out lately. Overwhelmed. A little bit short-tempered. A wedding, a renovation, a work situation that's impossible to win right now. It would do it to most people, I'm sure. And then I went to teach. And my learner, well, he's been doing something thinking too. About what he's going to do with his life. Or just about how to get a job. Or even some work in general. As we compared stories (me: "I'm just so busy; there's no time to do all the stuff I want to do" - him: "I'm so bored.") I wistfully thought about a time when I did so much fun stuff. When I remembered what life is really about (which is to say NOT work, NOT getting "ahead", NOT how much one can accomplish in one lifetime, not even how much one can experience in one lifetime, but how much one can enjoy each moment in a lifetime). I did lots of stuff. But I didn't worry about the stuff I wasn't doing. Because it didn't matter. And suddenly I remembered that I'd been forgetting my all-important mantra: NOTHING is really all THAT important. The wedding? It will pass. Most people regret worrying about one day so much anyway. It'll either be stupid or fine, but stress-free will make it that much better. The renovation? Worst case scenario, it could wait until I have more money and more time. Or I could do the big government payback parts and leave the rest til later. I could pay people to just take care of MORE of it instead of trying to do it myself. Or I could do nothing. It's not the worst place in the world. I've managed to live here quite some time with it in sub-perfect condition. Imagine that. Work? It's just a website. And while everyone loves to have an opinion on websites and imagine that they could do better or know what exactly should be done because they're just that smart... well, it's still just a website. I am not judged on the quality of the website (not, at least, by the people who care most about me -- in fact, they don't really understand websites all that much and just love that there's a picture of me on it). it will all pass. All of THIS. The blog that needs to be edited. The performance goals that need to set. The strategy that needs to be devised. The venue that must be found. The money that needs to be saved. The dress that needs to look hot. The contractors that need to be guided. The estimates that need to be reviewed. The budget that needs to be trimmed. The investments that need to be researched. All of the things that seem so important right now will someday be that thing that I may or may not remember doing all those years ago that really had no significant effect on my future. And so, I thought, as I walked home, let's focus on that enjoyment of every moment thing... while of course achieving a few goals along the way (let's not go crazy now and pretend I can give them all up and go hippie-styles). :: Cathy 11:06 PM [+] :: 1 comments :: Thursday, January 14, 2010 :: There are a lot of wedding dresses in the world. Most of them are: a) Not in my budget b) Not my style c) Pretty, but not sold in shops I've been to So where does that leave me? It leaves me with lots of dress-trying. Which, really, if you think about it, isn't that bad. I don't spend any money. I get to shop. I get to play dress-up. I get to pretend. I get to gag. I get to laugh. And every so often I get to consider. I've tried on three that aren't terrible. But one of them only came in dark brown, so let's say two. And really, if I had to get one of those, it wouldn't be the worst thing that ever happened. I'd have to say that the wedding dress shopping is my favourite part of the whole wedding planning fiasco. Good thing that I have much more of it ahead of me! :: Cathy 11:31 PM [+] :: 6 comments :: Sunday, January 10, 2010 ::  I've been thinking over the past week about the holidays. And life. Life was pretty stressful prior to the holidays. I know what you're thinking: "Didn't you just go on holidays to wonderfully warm resort island?" Why yes, we did. And it was lovely. And I did relax quite a bit. But I got back to work for a week and it was all undone for me. I scrambled to see everyone I could for the holidays and get shopping done and baking. Not that those things are tough things to do, but they took time -- time which was in short supply and meant that I had a deficit of time for myself. The holidays, thankfully, supplied that. Time to myself. But also time with family. Time to pretty much do nothing. And it's a good thing, too, because that luxury won't be afforded to me again for a very long time. Why? check out my list of "things to do this year" :
But everything requires planning. And I'm my planning muscles are a little overworked. I'm taking it in bite-sized chunks, but it's starting to feel a bit like I never get time off. I'm always working. It makes Cathy a grump. So, do I need yet another resolution? To take more time off? To have more fun. To calm the F down? It begs the question: how do achievers fit enjoyment into their life? I suppose it means a change in the way you think about things: find ways to enjoy cleaning, cooking, planning, being active, and all the rest of it. Perhaps that is the final resolution: Find joy in the everyday. :: Cathy 10:40 AM [+] :: 0 comments :: Tuesday, January 05, 2010 :: I'm sitting at home now, in front of my computer with my Christmas tree lights on, drinking mint tea. My toes have that itchy feeling they get after they've been really cold and wet. Like they're defrosting. I've just been stood up by my learner. I'm a literacy tutor. I teach on Tuesday nights, usually, unless my learner cancels. He once asked me why I do this for free -- what do I get out of it? I get a different perspective on life. I get to remember what's really important. I get to feel like I'm making a difference in someone's life. None of them small things, to be sure. Except when I rush to leave work on time and spend the $3 in TTC fare (seriously, when does it become too much?) to go all the way there just to find out he's not coming... suddenly those things don't seem very important at all. But tonight I decided to turn it around. Turn the disappointment into an opportunity. So I walked home. It takes an hour and 15 minutes to walk in good weather. Not so much on slushy, slippery sidewalks. Especially when you have to duck into Shoppers Drug Mart to warm up and browse the wedding magazines. Honestly, the time went by quickly. My mind wandered. What will I say at my performance review? What kind of wedding dress do I want? Where should I have the wedding? Whom should I have over for dinner next? What should I tackle next on the house? How can I get more exercise into my life without paying for a gym membership? Before I knew it, I was home. My feet were wet, but I wasn't uncomfortable. In fact, I picked up the snow shovel and cleared my sidewalk, walkway and steps. Gordon asked me if I was feeling OK. I think I needed the time. I needed to walk in the snow and enjoy the evening. Not talk to anyone. Window shop. And breathe. It was the best Christmas present I got. :: Cathy 9:18 PM [+] :: 3 comments :: Thursday, December 17, 2009 ::  If you follow me on Facebook, Twitter, or in general just KNOW me, then you probably already know that I got engaged on Tuesday. You might have even seen this picture and/or my ring. What you might not know yet is the story. Tuesday night, I was working a little late at work. I called Gordon to let him know that I was about to shut down my computer and ride my bike home. "Did you figure out dinner?" I asked with trepidation, not at all thinking he had. "Yes." I nearly cried right there. I was so relieved as I'd had a bad day/week, trying to catch up after my amazing vacation. There was just SO much. And nothing was working out. And it felt like I had to do everything myself. I just wanted some help with SOMETHING. And here, he'd taken care of dinner! "Oh thank you thank you thank you," I gushed tearfully. "Yeah, I'm badass." Whatever. So I take off on my bike. It's snowing. The first snow that I've been in all year. Sucks (although admittedly pretty if I weren't so damn cold and riding my bike). I'm greeted by a dark house. Assuming Gordon's upstairs, I carry my bike up and inside my house.  On come the lights. Gordon appears from around the corner... in a Star Trek uniform. Commander class - basically, he's Captain Pickard with hair (actually, really good hair and in my opinion, better looking, though his accent is lacking)."Cathy Bogaart," he says seriously, "Engage." And he makes the motion... the engage hand signal that Pickard always uses. And there, held out, is a ring. I look at the ring, I look at him. Ring, him. He's wearing a Star Trek uniform, so clearly this is a joke. Back to the ring. Ring looks real. Back to Gordon. Still holding out his hand with that ring. I cock my head uncertainly, "For real?" "Yes," he says, nodding. "What are you going to do with it?" He asks, as I stand staring at it, thinking how pretty it is. But he hasn't asked me a yes or no question. I point this out. "That's all you're getting from me." Apparently someone is Mr. Tough Guy all of a sudden. I can't put it on because I'm still wearing my mittens and carrying my keys. I shove it all at him and take off my bike helmet. I put the ring on and it's perfect and of course it's right because we're right together. We kiss and I'm laughing and crying at the same time. I think I've been doing this for some time now. We drink a bottle of champagne while we call, text and write to various friends and relatives. And take pictures. And then we order Pizza Hut. Basically, it's the perfect evening with my dorky fiance. Fiance? Weird. Will I get used to that? Anyway, that's the story. See more pictures here > :: Cathy 8:54 PM [+] :: 3 comments
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<-- find me everywhere --> 
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