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[don't kid yourself]
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    > 2002





<!-- March 31, 2003 -->

Last day in Tokyo

Had my first REAL homesickness pang when I read an email from jane today. She told me about her trip to Boston. She relayed the whole thing - at least, all the events. But not how she felt or any details of the events. And it's not like I could ask questions... Anyway, then she said there was so much more she didn't feel comfortable writing in an email; so many more details that she wanted to share. And she wanted to call and laugh and share it all and have me tell her how silly she was being.

It made me laugh because I know she probably IS being silly, but I want to be there for her. And I guess I AM, I'm just HERE for her. And an email will have to suffice.

And the sadness I felt at that was quite profound. When she said that she could "hear" me through my emails but it's just not the same... damn you, Jane, for making me sad! ;) I almost cried.

* * *

Dave met me at the airport @ 7pm. He's been so helpful. It was only tough carrying all my crap to the train. Everything else was all laid out for me perfectly in a note from Dave. All the directions and tips and times to leave. So sweet! Even his roommate Dan said "you must be pretty special". I am CLEARLY special! ;)

I took Dave to a final coffee at Starbucks. We talked and I told him some of the things I'd thought about on the train ride over.

I apologized for not being more fun than I was. I just didn't have my travel feet yet. I was a little overwhelmed, a little bit unused to having no fixed address, to living out of a suitcase. It's taken me a week to really get a handle on it. Of course, I was also sick and jet-lagged for a while there. But it was probably mostly because it's the beginning of such a huge life change and it almost seemed unreal. I found it hard to believe that I was REALLY in Japan; that I'm REALLY gone for a year.

But we talked about how long (or rather how short a year really is. A year ago (actually, more than a year) I had just started my OMDP certificate at George Brown. Since then, I've finished my certificate, of course, but it doesn't seem like that long ago! The time went by so quickly! I know the time will zip by and be over before I know it.

Dave counselled me to remember to ENJOY my time. He told me not to work too hard. To do what I WANT to do. Otherwise, I will be like Dave; he hasn't enjoyed Japan much. Of course, our purposes for going are completely different. He went to pay off debts. I'm going to have a new challenge. I know I'm not going to make money. I just want to make enough to get by.

Still, it's good advice for someone like me who tends to have high expectations for myself; a huge drive to succeed. I could see myself forgetting to have fun. I used to do that all the time.

So, after our coffee, it was a big hug and kiss and time to check in. I hope he does come to visit me on Oz in 6 months, like he says he will.

Unfortunately, after he left I discovered that I was in the wrong place and had to figure out where to check in first. It all turned out fine. After a couple of non-English speaking people (at the AIRPORT, for goddessakes!?) I figured it out. I am shocked by how many people do not speak English here. I would have thought at least the Tokyo airport would have English-speaking employees here. And some are, I suppose. I'm being overly harsh. But I know they are trying to be more English here.

I had enough time left over to spend my last 600 yen on chocolate covered almonds (yum!) and shampoo (which I forgot at home). And to start writing my final thoughts in my journal.

Now we're on the runway, about to take off. The man seated in my section (2 seats over) has breath so bad that I'm choking on it over here!

The only in-flight movie that I hadn't already seen was a Japanese movie with English subtitles. I think it was called "Rocket". I keep having these in-flight movie epiphanies. This one came when Mr. Noguchi says:

"Dreams are never far away.
People just stop reaching for them."

on my way

homesickness, too much crap in my backpack

Lonely Planet guide