Dave comes "home" from Japan every year to visit and it's such a treat! Yesterday, he arrived in Toronto and we met up with Anita to go for coffee and a chat. We talked about relationships vs dating, living and working abroad, coming home, and life lessons.
I felt wise when I was able to pass on the lessons that have helped me most:
Sometimes, making a decision is paralyzing because you think it's forever. It's not. If you aren't happy with the outcome of any decision you make, you can change it. You can do something else. And if you don't like that? You'll do somethingn else.
Change is hard. Actually, it can seriously suck. This can prevent us from taking risks. But it will get better. Because (refer to point #1) you will do something to make it better. But also because time heals and soon, the change will become the NEW reality.
Having many options can be scary because you don't know what to choose and it can cause your desire to change to stall. My advice: PICK ONE. Pick an option, do the research to make sure it's not ridiculous and JUST DO IT. Then, see item #1.
Everything you do in life is never a waste. You can always learn something, even if it's figuring out what you don't want.
They're all kind of related, I guess. And by no means is this the sum total of the life lessons I've learned. But they were the focus of our conversation last night as Dave tries to decide where to go next with his life.
It's funny because Dave and Alex seem to be going through similar third-life crises. They're wondering where their lives have gone, what have they accomplished, are they wasting their time on whatever they're doing now.
What's funny is that I'm not having those feelings right now. This is usually where my head is at. And, YES, I do wish that I could travel more. But I'm surprisingly quite content.
Yes, I said "content."
And now I can't wait to help others through their ordeals. Problem is, there's not much that anyone can or should say/do. They need to figure it out on their own. And that's a life lesson I've learned too.
