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				WebGoddessCathy [don't kid yourself]	[talk to me]

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<-- my life, by webgoddesscathy -->

:: Saturday, June 03, 2006 ::

Rainy days are fantastic excuses to stay inside and do all those things you've been meaning to do. OK, yes, they're otherwise known as chores. But I honestly feel a sense of calm creeping over me now that the bathroom and floors are clean, the dishes done, the groceries put away.

I've finished my LouLou (disappointing issue to tell you the truth - I think magazine quality really falters in the warm months) and I've read a couple chapters of my book "Away".

I haven't turned on the TV. I've just listened to the rain falling on my window (and less-romantically, on my air conditioner). The quiet is good.

I managed to get myself out of the house because I needed milk in order to make myself my precious coffee. So I picked up a bunch of things at the same time.

Grocery shopping such a different experience when you have the leisure to wander and consider new products and linger by the bakery, smelling the fresh bread and cakes coming out of the oven.

I also allowed myself to get distracted by the dresses in Le Chateau as well as the jewlery kiosk before stopping at the bagel shop for this week's stash of bagels: Cinnamon raisin and pumpernickel sesame.

And now I believe it may be time to make myself a smoothie before heading out to see a movie on my Saturday night. (I'm just itching to see XMen!)

:: Cathy 1:45 PM [+] :: 0 comments

:: Thursday, June 01, 2006 ::

The latest update to Anita's website is done. Her music section has been redone.

There's another page to add to the section, but that will wait for tomorrow, because it is time for BED!

I had a nice walk, dinner and chat with Sara, one of the band girlfriends. Sometimes, when I talk to her, it's like we're the same person. I guess band girlfriends are usually in relationships with the same kind of guy and so they also tend to have similarities in their personalities.

I have got to stop going out for dinner though. I'm becoming Alex (I suspect that Alex doesn't eat at home at all).

:: Cathy 7:40 PM [+] :: 1 comments

Last night, when Alex and I got home from beach volleyball and after-vball eats at Betty's (which has totally gone downhill, let me tell you), the TV did not go on.

Compromise lives.

I scrubbed the beach sand from my feet and settled down to do some yoga while Alex tapped away contentedly on his computer.

It was quiet.

I could hear my deep breathing as I twisted in all directions.

I went to bed relaxed.

I thanked him for not turning on the TV. He said he knew I liked it better when it wasn't on. We hugged. Happy ever after.

Sigh.

Small things make a big difference.

:: Cathy 7:51 AM [+] :: 0 comments

:: Tuesday, May 30, 2006 ::

The past couple of days have seen me undergoing some real adjustments and soul searching in terms of my living arrangements.

My boyfriend, Alex, and I have been living together for just over three weeks now. One of those weeks, I was away on vacation. And at first it was kind of like a really long sleepover. Now, real life has stepped in. We're starting to figure out this whole roommate situation.

I tell you: it's hard.

I'm sure it would be a little easier if there were multiple rooms in my jr-1 bedroom apartment. But there's just the living room/kitchen, the bedroom and the bathroom.

Little things like when one does the dishes and whether the TV is on and what you watch become a really big deal. Because you can't escape from these things - even though I try.

I'm one of those people who really enjoy my quiet time.

You might have read about how much joy I take in my quiet coffee-drinking, book-reading weekend mornings. I also use the quiet as a way to unwind after work, after walking the hour-long smoggy, sweaty, honk- and siren-filled path back home. I like to do my yoga tape and take deep breaths and get calm. This is my routine.

Now, I get home and someone's there. And the TV is playing a brainless bounty-hunter show very loudly. The air conditioner roars out its chill. A cacophony of sound hits me. I am immediately uncomfortable.

I try hanging out in my bedroom but the TV is still distracting me. It is only about five feet away on the other side of the wall.

I try working on my computer, hoping that it will keep my mind off of the noise. Often this is the case - I can usually work on my computer, oblivious to everything else going on around me.

No deal.
Besides, the air conditioner is now giving me goosebumps.

I draw myself a bath. Yes, on the hottest, most humid day of the year, I am drawing a bath to warm up. But also to drown out the sound and be able to concentrate on my book. It works for a while and my shoulders start to drop away from my ears.

But as soon as I turn off the water, the TV drowns away my calm oasis. I yell to please turn it down, but of course he cannot hear me. It is too late anyway, the moment has passed and I am irritated.

Conversation is not welcomed. Quiet is not to be found.
Desperate screaming is soon to be had.

Of course, I know that no one is being unreasonable. Alex is just doing what he normally does. I understand wanting to do that. I also want to do what I do.

I realize that life will never be the same.

Gone are the days of selfishness, when I just cleaned up after myself and did what I want to do, when I wanted to do it. Gone are my routines that I cherish, because they interfere with someone else's routines.

It's a hard adjustment.
I suppose this is why it's best to marry when you're young: you haven't yet become set in your ways. You don't have such cherished routines.

And I suppose I know that what we will likely do is create new cherished routines together.

Living together, even when you love someone, is difficult. I know this from talking to my brother this weekend at his BBQ. Of course he loves his fiance. But that doesn't mean they don't argue about cleaning responsibilities and money and plans.

Just now we are figuring out how to live together without irritating the other, because we know it's possible. It just means change and compromise and unending patience.

I guess I'll just have to grow some patience.

:: Cathy 7:07 AM [+] :: 6 comments

:: Sunday, May 28, 2006 ::

First of all, let's just get it straight that I love the Georgia Mud Fudge Blizzard at DQ.

As many of you know, I used to work at the Dairy Queen when I was in high school. Wow, sometimes that job really sucked. BUT, I did learn an appreciation of the soft serve. And, you know what? I think it also taught me how to be clean.

Anyway, I'd been thinking about having this blizzard all day.

I woke up early - well, 8:30am on a weekend is early enough - and got some business out of the way. (I've been working on some updates to my friend Anita's website.) Of course, I sipped my coffee while I agonized for a couple of hours.

I made some breakfast - my standard bacon n egger bagelwich.

I ate it because I really didn't want to give in to the blizzard craving. I grabbed my book and my magazine and walked to the park with my water bottle for an afternoon in the sun.

It was a gorgeous day - not too hot, but warm enough to wear one of my favourite summer dresses.

I finished my book and read the entire magazine (Wish - although I think I don't like it as much as I liked LouLou, my Canadian shopping magazine.

All the kids were out playing soccer and baseball, older folks were walking their dogs and some young parents were out playing frisbee while their baby dozed in its stroller.

And after watching a few birds play around in the bird bath, I figured it was time to go. On the way home, I passed the library and I realized it was the perfect time to pick up a new book. So I picked up Away by Jane Urquhart. I've never read anything by her before, so I wanted to see what she's like.

But by the time I got out of the library, my stomach was almost literally itching for that blizzard. So I broke down and bought one. I wasn't dissappointed - the pecans are the best part, but the brownie chunks and the chocolate fudge mixed in? Mm! - even though the ice milk melted a little too quickly for my liking.

And I thought: what a nice day.

And then I had to go home because I have to do some laundry and some cleaning and make some rhubarb crisp (another favourite thing). And my apartment is quiet. Blissfully quiet. Except for the hum of my computer and the occasional bird chirp.

Oh crap, and there go the sirens. Toronto's just so peaceful, isn't it?

:: Cathy 2:19 PM [+] :: 1 comments